:( of 2009

Most music that comes out sucks. Thats a fact. Look it up. An even harsher fact is that some of the music you look forward to will suck. Here are WRR's biggest disappointments of 2009.

311 – Uplifter

For a long time, I’ve been a big fan of 311. And as most fans would tell you, the band's output has somewhat declined in quality over the last few albums, but that is only natural for a band that has been putting out quality music since 1993. But ‘Uplifter’ lies within it’s own deplorable category. All 311 albums are going to share similar elements, but “Uplifter” sounds like it was made by a committee using a cut-and-paste function (or as my friend Zach put it, "There are only so many ways to make chicken noodle soup"). As should have been easily deduced from the “hit” radio single “Hey You,” this execrable album was quickly destined for the dustbin. It’s not clear as to whether the band’s creative juices are all dried up, but I wouldn’t put money on another good album. They’ve had a nice run.

Why? – Eskimo Snow

One of my favorite albums of 2008, Alopecia was a vivid and stark look into the bands mildly disturbed yet fascinating psyche. Naturally, when I heard Why? would be following up in 2009, I was excited, until I heard Eskimo Snow and my excitement melted quicker than real Eskimo Snow. You see, E.S. is comprised of songs recorded during the Alopecia sessions and there is a reason they weren’t included on that album. Still, Yoni Wolf’s strange musings are always worth a listen and the more rock-based structure may appeal to some.

N.A.S.A. – The Spirit of Apollo

David Byrne, Seu Jorge, Method Man, RZA, KRS-One, Karen O, Kanye West, George Clinton, Santigold, Del the Funkee Homosapien, and John Frusciante are less than half of the top notch names that lent their time and talent to The Spirit of Apollo. It’s not a bad album per se, but it is painfully mediocre. Painful, because you know it’s such a waste to have all these artists contribute and all N.A.S.A. can manage to do is create generic 90’s underground rap beats.

Peter, Bjorn & John – Living Thing

Like most of you probably were, I was excited for P, B & J’s follow-up to 2006’s superlative Writer’s Block (not to discount the cool instrumental Seaside Rock). And, again like most of you, all I needed was one listen to determine that Living Thing was a flop. The band eschewed their remarkable pop sensibilities in order to experiment; not an impossible task, but one at which they failed. Then, a couple of months ago I had the chance to see them (along with the wonderful El Perro del Mar) and was utterly blown away. They played songs from both albums with such energy and melody that, surely I was too dismissive of Living Thing. I eagerly went home and listened to the album again but nope, I was right the first time. It’s a bit confounding as to how the band could perform the songs so well, but lose that in the studio.

U2 – No Line On The Horizon

When U2 announced they were recording a follow-up to the terribly craptastic abomination known as How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, I didn’t really care until I heard that Rick Rubin (!!!), Def Jam co-founder, producer of AC/DC, The Beastie Boys, Johnny Cash, LL Cool J, Tom Petty, Public Enemy, Rage Against the Machine, Red Hot Chili Peppers, RUN-DMC and hundreds of others, would be helming the boards. “Awesome,” I thought. “Maybe one of the greatest producers of all time could help the band re-capture the magic.” But then U2 scrapped those sessions and recorded new songs that turned out to be the bloated and lame No Line On The Horizon. I can’t see how the Rubin-produced songs could have been any worse.

Noah & The Whale – The First Days of Spring

Another follow up, another disappointment. Noah and the Whale’s The First Day Of Spring is as boring, depressing and lifeless as Peaceful The World Lays Me Down was sprightly and life affirming. Apparently, this is due to lead singer Noah Fink being quite down about the breakup with his girlfriend/bandmate Laura Marling. Now we all know that heartbreak has been a catalyst for great albums. This is definitely not one of them. ‘Love of an Orchestra’ is the only song that comes close to achieving the highs of their first album.